Last week we talked about the conversation being the relationship. This week I want to extend that into the conversations that we have with ourselves. You know the conversations I am talking about, those nagging conversations that keep us from achieving our dreams and goals.

Stop now and think of your core values, grab a pen and write them down… and yes I really do mean write them down. Now compare the values with the thoughts (nagging conversations) that you have with yourself. How well do they line up? My guess, and personal experience, would be that they don’t line up very well.

Now let’s take another step. Identify all of the peace stealers, (ie all those things that tick you off, cause you stress and give you negative thoughts)

Action Plan: what are you going to do to make those peace stealers peaceful? How are you going to make them either shut up or say the things you want them to say?

Here is an example for you: One of my values is authentic conversation. I was getting frustrated because since the death of my best friend two years ago I had not found anyone else who I could connect with. That deep creative side of me was turning to negative, nagging and self pity. So what was my action? I went and sought out a new best friend, someone who also values authentic conversation and has other similar values to myself.

RESULT: I am a happier person because I have the need of authentic communication met in my life as well as I am making a positive change in the life of another woman. Now the conversations that I have with myself are positive and uplifting.

The reason I tied this to our external conversations is based on the thought that when we are happy on the inside we are more congenial on the outside as well. So why didn’t I mention the inside work first? Simple. When we are able to hear ourselves talk and see the results in our outside environments it is much easier to transfer those skills back to ourselves. If you are anything like me, you are more willing and motivated to make changes for others than for yourself…now you know the psychology behind the decision.

Have an amazing week!!! Try this short 10min exercise and let me know how you do with it. Remember if you want to contact me directly, I welcome it – sheila@reclaimpersonaldevelopment.com