Personal Independence or Alienation

October 12th, 2009

As with any other human emotion or action, independence can be exciting positive thing, but it can also “be” or “become” a negative thing depending on a person’s background or frame of mind. For example:

A healthy state of personal independence typically derives from an individual whom possesses strong morals, high self-esteem, goal oriented/driven. Allows her/him-self to have and value people in their life as a support system, and has a positive and optimistic view on themselves and the world around them “despite” any past hurts, struggles or obstacles.

When they work their way up the corporate ladder they have co-workers and supervisors whom teach them the ropes, encourage them, and continue another field or perhaps above themselves on that corporate ladder. An individual with a healthy sense of personal growth and independence remains secure in themselves and cherishes those friendships, does not forget nor take for granted all of the time, care and devotion those people instilled into her.

On the flip side of that we have the unhealthy version of that very same scenario. Once she gains the needed knowledge, experience and the connections necessary to move up and possible above her co-workers and or teachers, she suddenly has nothing to do with those people whom supported her, taught and encouraged her and called her friend,

They’re now “beneath” her and her new higher position and she doesn’t feel she needs them anymore. She becomes overly guarded, convinced that if she turns her back on those lower level workers, whom she once not so long ago was comrades with, will stab her in the back and take her job. Obviously, this women in particular is holding onto past hurts and for her own reasons, is very insecure with herself and the rest of the world. What this poor lady views as being “independent” is an unhealthy for of independence because what is truly is in all essence is a form of power and control over others- due to her own insecurities.

In order for anyone to be able to achieve true real and lasting personal independence, we must make sure to take a personal inventory and be sure of these things” (just a few examples)

Be healed and rid of all past hurts and/or grudges. THEY WILL distort our mode of thinking and being.

Know our own personal moral and core values and live up to them each and every day.

Establish, values and nourish friendships, support systems and not take them for granted.
Have a good balance of humility and self-esteem
Develop personal goals and a realistic plant to achieve them
Take the time to rally know YOU… realize that what you many vie as a weakness in yourself is merely untapped potential waiting to be born.
Remember that every successful person has many loving hands and minds supporting them at all times. Being independent doesn’t mean, “ I don’t need your help!” or “I don’t need you in my life!”

That would not be independence, it would be alienation. Do not let any insecurities or pride distort your view of true independence.


... I was amazed at how much knowledge she's able to convey is such few short words and exercises - this is something truly powerful and I know will impact so many people in countless ways. ...
Dallas Courchene


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