Communication is a Two Way Street

January 30th, 2012

Communication is a Two Way Street

Knowing what you want out of a conversation BEFORE you go into the conversation makes you more attuned to what you are saying and what the other person is saying. Too often, in a conversation you are listening to respond rather than listening to hear. I am pretty confident in saying that we are all guilty of formulating an answer in our head long before the person we are speaking to has completed their speech.
BEFORE you go into a conversation organize your own thoughts and information in your own heart using the good ol’ stand by: Why How What and again What
Why is this relationship important to both of us?
How am I going to: Be transparent?
Be interested?
Gain their confidence?
What non-verbal cues am I sending out?
What am I willing to give to make this conversation work?
You are required to be responsive to your world. How are you going to do this…?
Grab a Pen and Paper
Think about and describe the conversations that you have not been able to have with your boss, colleague, spouse, child and most importantly with YOURSELF. Consider what and how things may change if you were to have this conversation. Can you commit to having this conversation?

“People don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.” Anonymous
“People won’t remember what you say nearly so well as they will recall how you made them FEEL. It is the experiences we share with others that create lasting impact. MAKE SOMEONE SMILE TODAY!”- Marilyn Anderson

Filed under: Personal Development

Personal Independence or Alienation

October 12th, 2009

As with any other human emotion or action, independence can be exciting positive thing, but it can also “be” or “become” a negative thing depending on a person’s background or frame of mind. For example:

A healthy state of personal independence typically derives from an individual whom possesses strong morals, high self-esteem, goal oriented/driven. Allows her/him-self to have and value people in their life as a support system, and has a positive and optimistic view on themselves and the world around them “despite” any past hurts, struggles or obstacles.

When they work their way up the corporate ladder they have co-workers and supervisors whom teach them the ropes, encourage them, and continue another field or perhaps above themselves on that corporate ladder. An individual with a healthy sense of personal growth and independence remains secure in themselves and cherishes those friendships, does not forget nor take for granted all of the time, care and devotion those people instilled into her.

On the flip side of that we have the unhealthy version of that very same scenario. Once she gains the needed knowledge, experience and the connections necessary to move up and possible above her co-workers and or teachers, she suddenly has nothing to do with those people whom supported her, taught and encouraged her and called her friend,

They’re now “beneath” her and her new higher position and she doesn’t feel she needs them anymore. She becomes overly guarded, convinced that if she turns her back on those lower level workers, whom she once not so long ago was comrades with, will stab her in the back and take her job. Obviously, this women in particular is holding onto past hurts and for her own reasons, is very insecure with herself and the rest of the world. What this poor lady views as being “independent” is an unhealthy for of independence because what is truly is in all essence is a form of power and control over others- due to her own insecurities.

In order for anyone to be able to achieve true real and lasting personal independence, we must make sure to take a personal inventory and be sure of these things” (just a few examples)

Be healed and rid of all past hurts and/or grudges. THEY WILL distort our mode of thinking and being.

Know our own personal moral and core values and live up to them each and every day.

Establish, values and nourish friendships, support systems and not take them for granted.
Have a good balance of humility and self-esteem
Develop personal goals and a realistic plant to achieve them
Take the time to rally know YOU… realize that what you many vie as a weakness in yourself is merely untapped potential waiting to be born.
Remember that every successful person has many loving hands and minds supporting them at all times. Being independent doesn’t mean, “ I don’t need your help!” or “I don’t need you in my life!”

That would not be independence, it would be alienation. Do not let any insecurities or pride distort your view of true independence.

What have you been telling yourself lately?

August 31st, 2009

I was talking to a friend recently who is in a tough financial spot and her attitude is amazing. Though she is a single mom with three kids to feed on an employment insurance cheque, her attitude is always thankful.

With toast for supper and a thin layer of peanut butter for protein, she is thankful for the roof over her head, the couch to sit on and the closeness of her family. As she says, “When I think of how hard today is, I just look back to where I was ten years ago. I didn’t even have this much so I am thankful.”

How does an attitude like that not melt your own problems away and make you thankful for whatever you have and not long for what you do not have. It is all a matter of what you are telling your self.

As I have told my kids for years:

If you don’t like the view, change your perspective!

Follow Your Dreams

August 17th, 2009

This week I am sharing with you a poem that has helped to keep me focused over the years. Read it slowly and with contemplation, the simple words have profound meaning.

Follow Your Dreams

Follow your dream
Wherever it leads
Don’t be distracted
By less worthy deeds…
Shelter it, nourish it,
Help it to grow
Let your heart hold it
Down Deep
Where dreams go
Follow Your dream
Pursue it with haste;
Life is too precious,
Too fleeting to waste…
Be faithful, be loyal,
Then all your life through
The dream that you follow
Will keep coming true.

I look forward to your comments and your experiences in pursuing, or not pursing your dreams.

Have an amazing week.

Filed under: Personal Development
Tags: ,

Time to assess your goals

August 13th, 2009

It is time to assess your goals and start considering what is coming for the New Year.
read more…

Older Posts »

Testimonials

Whether you are looking forward to life or trying to make sense of past relationships this book teaches the reader to know, "You are worth the journey." Good advice and many answers for contemporary Canadian women.
Dr. Chris Montoya, PhD Psychology

Newsletter

Sign up for our monthly newsletter!